you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
