I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
