We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
