Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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