The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
