That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
did i walk over a car last night?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
