I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You need Xanax blowdarts
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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