i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
