Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
