someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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