i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yo dont text me then not text me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
