Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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