i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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