chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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