i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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