I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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