is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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