there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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