I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
