seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I think my moral compass just broke
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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