I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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