omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize