So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
