you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
