i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Found your dick twin last night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
