Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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