Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
