I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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