I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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