you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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