Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
