Your tits are I can't wait for
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
