I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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