So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
