Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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