you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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