i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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