From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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