It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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