these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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