If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
