4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she smelled like a LAN party
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
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