Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
