Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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