This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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