good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
