I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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