Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
