he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
