margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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