I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
