you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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