LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize