it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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