1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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