bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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