i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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