can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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