So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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