covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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