No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
