Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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